The Role of a Daughter

Mommy recently spoke at a ladies luncheon about contentment in every season of womanhood; serving the Lord and being happy where you are. This may be a rather difficult idea for young women in our era of American history. Many may wonder, “How can I be contented with where God has placed me if I don’t even know where that is?” Of course this would, more than likely, never be expressed aloud. Unfortunately there are many areas in our lives where we just assume that everyone else is doing the right thing instead of doing what Jesus said….

“Search the scriptures…” John 5:39

So, before you can answer the question, “Where has God placed me?” you must first ask yourself this question, “Am I going to listen to what the culture says about how young women should behave, or am I going to listen to what God says?”

There are two women in the Old Testament who I think give excellent contrasting examples of daughterhood. They are actually grandmother and granddaughter: Rebekah the mother of Jacob and Dinah the daughter of Jacob. Briefly put, when we first see Rebekah in Genesis chapter 24, we find her going to the well to draw water for her family. She meets Abraham’s servant who has come to find a wife for Isaac. He tells her who he is and she runs back home to tell her family. They all decide that she should go be Isaac’s wife, and her brothers pray a blessing over her. She goes with Abraham’s servant and the Bible tells us that Isaac loved her.

When we look at the story of Dinah in Genesis chapter 34, we find something completely different. Unlike Rebekah, Dinah decides to go out on her own to see the daughters of the land. She does this without her family and gets into trouble. Her brothers get so angry about the trouble she is in that they kill all the men in the city.

I want to point out four opposites between these two characters that may shed some light on our own situations:

1.  Rebekah was serving her family, Dinah was leaving her family.

2.  Rebekah was with her family until marriage, Dinah went out to see the daughters of the land.

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”  1 Corinthians 15:33 

Am I saying that I believe daughters should stay with their families until marriage?  Yes I am.  I believe this, not as the result of personal conviction alone but because of the clear teachings of the Bible.  (Which must necessarily be authoritative in the life of a true Christian.)

The Bible says….

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  Genesis 2:24

This verse is quoted so often that you will find many unbelievers recognize it.  Even with it’s familiarity, many seem to ignore what it says.  “Therefore shall a man leave his bachelor pad, and shall cleave unto his wife…”  Wait, that isn’t right is it?  “Therefore shall a man leave his college dorm, and shall cleave unto his wife…”  No, no, who is he to leave?  “…his father and his mother…”

3.  Rebekah was blessed by her brothers, Dinah caused her brothers to sin; they committed murder as a result of her rebellion.

4.  In the end, Rebekah is happily married, Dinah, on the other hand, is never mentioned again.

God has placed daughters in their homes.  It really is that simple.  This is not to say that God wants us to lie around at home doing nothing until we finally find our purpose in marriage.  Not at all!  You see, even the best marriage is too small a thing to live for: but our Savior is not, only in Christ do we find true meaning and purpose.  There is a beautiful picture of the daughter’s role in the book of Psalms:

“Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood: that our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones polished after the similitude of a palace:”  Psalm 144:11-12

Corner stones, or pillars, are very important to their buildings.  What is the purpose of a pillar?  A pillar has two purposes: first, to provide strength and support to the building, second to add magnificence and beauty.  Your life should strengthen your family and bring beauty and magnificence to your home.  The world needs to be able to look at a Christian family and say, “Wow!  Those Christians must have something right, everything they touch is beautiful.”

What is a pillar without a building?  It has no purpose.  It may look beautiful but it is all a vain show.  God has given you a place in your home that no one else can fill.  You must fill that place.  Your family needs you.  What happens to a building when the pillars are gone?  Take the pillars out from under the building and you are left with nothing more than ruins.  Move a pillar, and the house will cave in… it will fall!  You, as a daughter cannot walk away from your family without doing damage.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”  Proverbs 14:1

Are you going to be a foolish woman?  Are you going to turn your back on God’s order?  Will you forsake your family?

The world has repeated their agenda over and over.  They have pushed it on us so craftily that we have begun to accept and even believe it.  But God’s Word clearly teaches that women were created to be with their families!  If it is truly a good and successful thing for women to be on their own; if God approves of that, then why would our Savior look down from the cross where he was suffering and dying to ensure that his earthly mother had a family to live with?  Mary did not live on her own after Jesus’ death: she became a part of John’s family.

God has placed you in your home.  He has a plan for the family that works perfectly.  In this plan, women are protected, cared for, and allowed to flourish.  In our homes we find the perfect environment for girls to become godly women, and godly women to become heroines of the faith.  It is not God’s plan for young women to be on their own.

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”  1 Timothy 5:14

We need to be preparing ourselves for this one great calling instead of filling our time preparing for an unbiblical calling just in case we never marry.  Scott Brown, pastor of a church in North Carolina said, “If I train my daughter to be a wife and mother and she never marries, I have lost nothing.  If I train her to be anything but a wife and mother and she marries, I have lost everything.”

God has called women specifically to lead a focused life, a life that is focused on home and family.  We must concentrate on our purpose… “What is our purpose?”  Ultimately, to glorify God… “How do we do this?”  By joyfully submitting to his will and filling the role he has assigned to us.


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